Loving you

You come in waves and somedays you engulf me and some days you get to me just enough that the water goes up my nose and leaves the lingering salinity in my throat. 

These days I think of you and feel more frustration than any other emotion. Not because I cannot leave you in my past, whilst that has seemingly been the issue, but because of the idea that I was so easily swayed by the person of you.

But today I felt a wave of relief at the realisation of the fact that I no longer have to spend my days racking my brain trying to figure out how to be someone you want. I no longer have to sit in the anxiety of wondering whether I am enough for you.

I no longer have to prove myself to you.

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